He betrayed me. He swore a holy oath, said he loved me. Rabbi, he called me. Blessed One. But in the end it was more of a curse. And when I had found my true calling, he was so holy that he carried out the damnéd prophecy. For a price so small, he delivered me to my sworn enemies so that they might rip me apart like lions. Had it not been for your promptings, my brother would never have condemned me so. He did love me once. It was so true and so profound, how could I but believe him?  He shunned me, for you. But did you reward him? Did you save him a place in Heaven?

            My life was what I wanted. It was not what you had foreseen for me, but I would have lived it a thousand times over, rather than die for your people. She loved me, whore if she was… But even a whore can feel love if a deity can not. But you tricked my brother into ripping me away from all that I held dear. She loved me so entirely, so completely. She was my wife. My betrothed, my soul-mate, the love of my life! You stole her. She wept for me. They both wept for me. Both loved me. But you wanted your perfect faith to be realized. I never asked to be what you said I was to be. Even in fulfilling my bitter fate, there was no freedom, no place in Paradise.  You damned me for my passion, you damned me for my love, and you damned me because I had found something more real that you could ever be for me.

            Now I drink the blood of your children: an eye for an eye, and yet how can I balance the equation that you set forth before I was born? Cursed to walk the earth for eternity; without end. How could you ever think that fair? If I were afraid to die, if I did not wish to be a prophet, a savior, a saint; what is that to you? You forced me to shun the day and walk the night, the wind always clawing at me; I should have taken the Bright One’s offer while it stood.

            You ask why I kill? I kill to survive, now no better than a common beast. I kill to show the truth. Your children are not saved. You are too ashamed to admit that you were wrong. Wrong over who had more strength; angels or demons.  They came to me thirty for power, lusting after eternal life, beauty beyond compare. I give them freely what you would force them to slave for, no more merciful with them than you were with me. I was your only child, and you betrayed me, more than they ever could.

            I loved you. There was a time that I believed your word was gospel, that you were all that was good and true in the world. There was a time when I would have given up my very soul for you. I loved you with a compassion that man has never equaled. YOU BETRAYED ME! You condemned me, your sole heir. ARE YOU LISTENING, YAHWEH? Do not turn your back on me. DON’T YOU DARE WALK AWAY FROM ME WHILE I AM SPEAKING TO YOU, GOD! I gave up everything for you! The least you could do is look me in the face! It’s me, your son… Yeshua.